The bald head has been around for decades, nay, for centuries my dear friends! There’s a power that comes with being bald. Why else do you think fully enlightened Buddhist monks of Thailand are bald? Where do you think my main man Mahatma Ghandi got his strength to lead the Indian people into independence and freedom with nothing but pure, ultimate zen? All the while inspiring freedom and power to balding men and women everywhere. So then why does everyone want find a baldness cure and eradicate our all seeing, raw powers? Well let's see how far off they are from blocking out the bright shimmer of our heads.
Whose cooking what?
For Hundreds of years, people have claimed to have their very own, secret ingredient, baldness cure. From snake skin to hippopotamus fat, and everything in between. But in recent times, medical break throughs are actually not looking too shabby!
Earlier this year, headlines claimed that Macca's fries can get back that mop you’ve been missing... Sorry to burst your bubble but Ronald ain't the super hero you think he is! The only connection between MD fries and a baldness cure is some bright spark figured out that Japanese researchers have been experimenting with a compound found to promote hair follicle generation which, lo and behold, is also found in the deep frier oil that McDonald’s cooks their fries! The researchers found that the compound, dimethylpolysiloxane (a mouthful that rivals the biggest handful of fries you've ever had), makes hair follicle germs, which are just hair follicles cells on a petrie dish in the lab, sprout like Jack’s infamous beanstalk. The study actually shows some serious promise, and the scientists were able to grow 5,000 hair follicle germs in a few days, thousands more than previous studies. These were then transplanted onto the backs of mice and hair actually grew! Issue is, humans have an average of 100,000 hair follicles. So, there’s still some real hard yards to be made!
Another promising study is by Dr. David Weinstein, who has concocted his very own, super special potion called RT1640 that apparently has some crazy intense powers. Weinstein and his partner Michael Altman, believe that their topical solution can be the one that actual grows back hair to it's full natural state. But they are still on the hunt for investors to start clinical trials, and there's no actual hard evidence that its the baldness cure that everyones been praying for. Important note - Weinstein's the only one thats actually used it, although he did see some solid results.
Then, there are the ever lavish hair transplants, a process that’s been refined over the years. But, lets be real, at the end of the day, transplants are a form of plastic surgery. Taking follicles from one part of you head and implanting them into another is not a "baldness cure." They're expensive, the process is a bit rank, and they're just re-arranging your follicle feng shui! The process hangs on the thickness of your hair and how legit your follicles are, its not actually growing hair back.
There it is. These are just some of the projects that are currently on the continual search for a baldness cure. One things for sure, the first man or women to find the fountain of youth and spread the luxury of never ending locks, will be in for a seriously fat wallet! My prediction, that shit ain't gonna be cheap... Even though there are some promising projects in the works, I think it's going take take a fair few years till a cure is available to people like you and me.
In the mean time, we don't claim to have a baldness cure, but we've got something that's pretty damn good! If you're looking for a treatment that'll help keep what you've got and add a little more for good measure, jump on board and get $100 off your first 3 month subscription below!